Good times

I wish I had something new and exciting to write about, but I don't. We've been through a week of freezing rain and the consequential accumulating-ice-on-everything (I had to scrape my car three times in one day), which now turned into snow. But I can't even report that - it will be like tapping into replays of last winter's posts. Is it time to change the concept of my blog, or even shut it down altogether? Do I want to have a blog now that I'm just a person in Iowa City, and no longer the great New Yorker who moved to the Midwest?
It's been a year since I moved (actually, a year minus two weeks. Okay). I've been though the full seasons' cycle and the academic year cycle, with a big move to a new place and to a new relationship. My main frustration is still my struggle with academic writing and getting published, just as it was a year ago. And I'm about to stamp an H-1B in my passport for the very last time.

I'm looking forward to the next few weeks. I'm excited about spending time with both families, and can't wait for Ryan to meet everybody in my family, especially Roni - the only member of my immediate family who he hasn't met. Then, while in Naperville, we'll probably get together with our friends Ira, Brian and Jessica, who I can't wait to see again, and hopefully with Anna too, who I haven't seen since September. Then we're going to Israel and I'll get to spend time with my Israeli friends - I especially miss Arava and Shay, maybe because I saw both fairly recently. And Israel is so much fun.

So where am I going from here? Is it time to unblog myself? I'm not sure. Ideas and suggestions are welcomed.

Sociobiology II

An incident from Thursday night got me thinking about the role of female socialization in our perceptions of power.
Here's what happened: We were out with a couple of friends, and one guy kept making comments toward Jen and I and trying to engage in some kind of flirting with us, though we were there with Ryan and another male friend. About an hour into the evening, after he approached me and commented about my "sexy accent", Ryan told him to back off. The guy went to his friends and starting talking loudly about Ryan's comment, and we left shortly after, realizing that if we stayed it will end up in a physical fight.

I always found it difficult to understand why guys engage in physical violence, but after talking with Ryan some more, I think I have a better idea. I explained to Ryan the way most women handle these situations: If a guy in a bar is seeking our company but not to a dangerous or offensive degree, and if we realize that we are going to be in each other's proximity for a while (as in - in the same bar), we will blow him off gently with niceties. It will take a lot for me to say to someone "please leave me alone, I'm not interested"; I'm more likely to sweetly say something like "would you excuse my friend and I, we are in the middle of something". If someone is completely out of line, I will say "please leave me alone", and if that doesn't work, I will leave the place. (Emily and I had to do it once - remind me to tell you the story about that guy when I see you, dear reader.)

The point being, even if someone is completely out of line, I will never consider engaging in physical violence. Is it because I know that I am obviously going to lose the fight, being smaller and weaker than the average guy? Would I have been more drawn to doing that - or thinking about it - if it weren't for my size? Would all women? There are teenage cultures in which girls engage in physical fights with each other no less than the boys. Are we all the same in our aggressive tendencies, but being a woman, I have learned long ago that those tendencies are useless and will get me nowhere, and I'm better off mastering the more nuanced social verbal skills to get rid of an eager guy in a bar? Ryan said he could have killed that guy. Is that a tendency I could have felt had I been socialized as someone with physical strength?

Badware

I know that everybody hates computer viruses and warms, but you have to understand how so very upsetting these things are for someone like me. Not because I get them - I'm much too careful, like most of us - but because I've always had a hard time comprehending senseless evil. I can understand theft: you take something from someone and end up having something you didn't have before. But computer viruses don't even benefit the wrongdoer. Isn't that the definition of evil? (no, but it's almost the definition of pernicious.) I really can't understand causing harm for the sense of harm alone. I think that it's a part of my general bizarre morals - I can be very forgiving of certain things if they make sense, but a less harmful action that I perceive as senseless can infuriate me to no end - and computer viruses have always been an example.

So I just read this and this. These malware websites can get even the most email-circumspect person, and that drives me crazy. Something that activates itself without the user doing anything - that's just wrong. Basically, never click on funky-looking .cn links that come up in google searches.

I also got a perfect score at pool on Tuesday, which doesn't happen often. The league raffles a $10 bar tab every week between those who scored a perfect score on the previous week, so this may translate into beer, yay.

Oh, and I've decided to let me hair grow. Ha.

Post-turkey

I didn't actually have turkey, but there was a big family meal, and we did spend the holiday at Ryan's parents' house. I had a great time.
Not much else to tell. The first snow of the season began (and ended) on the day of our departure, and I was excited, as I always am. And the final move-out took place yesterday, as we took out everything that was left in my old apartment. This entire move was pretty odd: it took place using only my and Ryan's cars, nothing was packed at any point, and it included about 10 or 15 rides between my old place and my new place. By now we have integrated almost everything into the house, sold what had to be sold, and stored what had to be stored. It's finally done.

Lastly, here is an brief description of the "Joan or John" case, for those of you who aren't familiar with it. I became familiar with it through a documentary I saw on TV (PBS?) about a year ago. By now the person's identity is no longer hidden, and he was interviewed for the movie along with his parents, ex-wife (they have divorced by now) and therapist. I found the article while looking for a different NYT article for a class meeting I'm teaching about gender, and found the description to be chilling and effective - just in case anyone out there has ever doubted the wisdom of sociobiology.

I'm in the paper!

Here is the main story, and here is the box with my bit. This is all she kept from an interview that was about an hour long!

Ladybug count: 8

There's a ladybug in my office. Right now.

Update - Tuesday morning:

It's still here. And it's dead.
I think it came to my office for company - here's a sample of the collection I have in my office:

Well, plus one dead one on my couch.

Dentist I

I went to the dentist today, as a part of my quest to use all of my flexcredits before 1/1. What it means is that I have a lot of money to spend on health-related things, and only a month and a half to spend it. You may ask - why didn't I use it until now? Well, that's because when it comes to my health insurance, I suddenly turn into a mentally challenged ape. It takes me 11 months to realize that flexcredits don't roll over.
So I went to the dentist's, and scheduled myself $300 worth of treatments for the upcoming month. But the real reason I'm bringing this up is my discovery that the spitting sink is gone. My new dentist had a hard time believing that my old NYC dentist (aka the best dentist in the world who I miss dearly) still used one. Did any of you know this? I miss the spitting sink. I loved the spitting sink.
Bring back the spitting sink.

Random things

- Ryan is away for the weekend on unfortunate family circumstances, and I'm all alone. I plan on doing a lot of book-reading and movie-watching, though knowing myself, I'll end up doing a lot of bar-hopping and pool-shooting. I'm going to try and be good though - it's getting colder, and staying at home seems more and more attractive.

- Right before he left he made beef potroast, which I'll probably be eating for the next 3 days. We have become crock-pot junkies - it's just so much fun to get home from work and not have to think about dinner planning/cooking. And it makes the house smell fantastic.

- Ladybug count is still at 7. Oh, the disappointment.

More English language

A new favorite: http://quotation-marks.blogspot.com
I'm so happy with this discovery, as unnecessary quotation marks are a pet peeve of mine.
Right behind it is this one.

I mean, literally, right behind it.

My brother and I

Finally, here are the pictures Jen took when Ofer was here. The scariest one is the last one - it takes a second to figure out who's who.